Jack Dagger

To quote Ian Malcolm, “Life finds a way.”

I have no idea how that applies here, but Jeff Goldblum is pretty cool.

This is what I see from back stage when Amy Amnesia goes to put herself on the bed of nails at the end of EVERY show.

She gets a little nekkid, then saunters over to the bed.

And Rev. Tommy Gun, angry bastard that he is, breaks a perfectly good cinder block on Amy’s stomach.  That’s just rude.

Amy survives.   This time…

But no autographs.  Please.

Meanwhile, backstage, Samual and I show our enthusiasm.

Then, as Samual bends over in front of me, we’re joined by the girls.

This young lady doesn’t know what’s coming.

Samwise joins me.

And boo-ya-ka-sha!  Super-mega-toungue-attack!

How many idiots does it take to operate a Mac.

My new best friend, Trapjaw from Masters of the Universe.  He’s older and fatter than he used to be.  Also, he’s taken up eating humans for fun.

We are sexy cannibals.  Oh yeah, I fell off the sober-cannibal wagon, hanging out with this dumb-ass.

The claw is mischevious.  Fear the claw.

The foot is also mischevious.  Fear the foot.  And the claw.

Cutie-Pie (real name not included for legal reasons… she’s a lawyer in her day job) fears the claw.

Amy Amnesia fears nothing.

She actually likes the claw, I think.

But does she know where that claw’s been?  In the mouth of Juicy Jones, that’s where…

This kid broke in to our back stage area.  We rewarded him with a group photo.

Then we cut off his leg.

Trapjaw salivated in expectation.

Murrugun the Mystic starts looking for Trapjaw’s next meal.

I, too, help woo the girl closer to the buzz saw.  “The girl” is Alexa.  Sadly, she lived.

And so did this young cutie.

And finally, Murrugun gets attacked by cute-ness.

Hope you enjoyed this round of pics.  If not, then go fxxk yourself.

Pointedly yours,

Jack Dagger: The King of Fling

p.s. Here’s a thought to leave you all with.  Especially you, Amy Amnesia, Oh Jumper-on-the-Clowns-are-Scary Bandwagon.

And Eda is a doll.

Jessica and company, in a semi-group photo.

When I do the Pirate duds, little Jack Jr. gets all spiffed up.  Hook included.

Waffle House (also known as the Awful House) is sometimes necessary after a bunch of grueling shows.  Here, Nick and I are trying to ignore the searing heat of the Rev. Tommy Gunns leering stare.  Look in the background.

He’s still leering.  Creepy bastard.

Here I am with my good friends (and competitive knife throwers themselves) Tim Bass and Tracy Tenny.

Amy Amnesia’s friend Anna came up from Ashville to hang out and see the show.  We all wanted to just eat her up.

After this pic, I did wind up eating Anna.  Just had to get close enough.

Super cool fan, Kim, who’ll be tomorrow’s sideshow superstar.  Right now, though, she’s, like, 10 or something.

Kim again (with her pal who’s name I don’t remember).

Amy Amnesia and Kitty Karloff are not without their own admirers.

Amy Amnesia, working hard for the money, takes a moment to make the day of hard working Pete McKenzie.  Note the ear-to-ear grin, and the blushing cheeks.

Tracy and Murrugun enjoying a martini on the porch swing.

Tending the fire with groovy Lisa.

Amy loves Anna.  If you met her, you would, too.

The next morning, we went back into the park for a few rides.  But here I am balancing like a goofball on the NC/SC state line.

I decided Tracy needed a stuffed animal, so I tackled one of the carny games.  Having experience throwing crap at other crap, I felt pretty confident about the results.

It’s all about the follow through.  And looking like an idiot.

Behold.  The prize.  Fornicus the Frog.  He likes to touch himself.  Leaves a green mess everywhere.  He dated Kermit for a while (didn’t know Kermit was gay, didja?).

Lastly, we couldn’t find a photo booth, so we made up our own.

That’s all for now, sports fans.  Heading back to LA in three days.  I think I might be ready.  But before then, we’ve got three nights of kick-ass shows to do.  Maybe Murrugun will get another “Falling Ovation” tonight (wish I had a photo of that).

Pointedly yours,

Jack Dagger: The King of Fling

p.s.  Here’s a picture of some vegetable lasagna.  More on that later.

JD:TKoF

Not sure what that means.

Pics now.

Lindsey is awesome.

Makeup and haunted maze guru, Nick.

Competitive knife thrower and all around good gal Tracy with her sister/brother Amanda (“Male Illusionist Extraordinaire”).

Me and Jack Jr.  He sits on my knife table and watches my stuff.

Brave Scarowinds employees.  The gal in the middle is none other than Jenn the Mighty, Stage Manager-ess Extreme!

Rev Tommy Gunn wasn’t dressed yet.  Too bad for him.

Mmmmmmm, souvenir paper plates, penetrated by the perfectly precise skills of the professional punk-ass himself… Jack Dagger.  I will now delete the letter p from my vocabulary.

Rev Tommy Gunn gets attacked by my fringed cowboy jacket.  It happens.

Yes, occasionally we go out in public.  But only if there’s lots of pretty lights.

Badger made me poop my pants.  This is the re-enactment.

Tampons.  They’re not just for hoo-hahs any more…

Amy Amnesia with Nick the Bastard (or shambling axe murderer)… out of makeup.

More to follow?  Hmmmmmm?  Insist on taking a photo with us after a show.  We’ll do it.  And I’ll post it here.  Even if I don’t like you.  Which of course would never happen.  I like everybody. 

JD:TKoF

p.s. Here’s some booty-butt washbasins.

And come up with your own damn captions…

JD:TKoF